Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
