I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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