Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
