I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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