how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
do herpes really smell.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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