yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
