the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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