I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
