ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
