My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
