I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
