She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
