I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so let's talk penis.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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