she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
