What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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