we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
