Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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