Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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