if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize