After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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