She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
