This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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