check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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