it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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