Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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