That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
