I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
