The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She bit a glass in half.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
