I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
