It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
