you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize