I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
