Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My day in three words: secret purse cake
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
