I'm gonna have a badass scar
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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