you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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