At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
