he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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