I think I won the penis lottery.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
