I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
