Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My life is pants optional.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
