Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i was born a porn star she said
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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