I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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