Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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