There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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