I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
look no pants
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
