Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
