Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
