It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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