How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
