Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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