I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
