I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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