I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
