This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
