i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
