M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
