Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
