We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Randomize
