He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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